/b/ - Siberia

The Chrimblini are a cursed line of wizards dating back to 30,000 years ago. The most notable effects of their curse are as follows:
-Buttholes for eyes
-Eyes for teeth
-Teeth for a butthole
-Born with the shape and wrinkles of a fat 80 year old Jewish man
-A tentacle protruding from the chin.

The pipe they are seen always smoking is in-fact not a pipe, but a large hollow bone shaped like a pipe. This bone is attached to both the jaw and has a loose connection to the brainstem. Removal of the pipe is excruciatingly painful and results in almost immediate death. The connection is so loose that just bumping it could mean certain death, and thus the Crimblini must constantly use it's tentacle appendage to hold up the pipe. Tobacco and preferably Marijuana are added to make this a less stupid and boring experience.

On the top of it's head is a very thickly woven patch of hair, always formed into the shape of a wizard hat. Upon autopsy, it is shown that it is hollow and has the top of their brain protruding through it. Any attempt at a haircut results in immediate brain death.

The only way for the Crimblini to reproduce is incestuously with another Crimblini. Being all men, one Crimblini is chosen to burden the Rite of Bearing after a brutal trial by combat, usually by breaking all of the legs and arms of the losing Crimblini so that it might not refuse. After the mating ritual the crippled, immobile Crimbini experiences an 8 hour process in which a fully grown Crimblini begins to form in his intestines and slowly burrow it's way out of the urethra, killing the original Crimblini in the process. Because of this, only 4 Crimblini's can exist at any given time.

Known to say: "It's a living."