At the core of the incel's resentment is hypergamy. Hypergamy has existed in every stratified society, though perhaps not as dramatically as our own. People don't like being of a lower social status, so it's not unusual that any opportunity to rise in status is considered valuable. Hypergamy is simply an expression of one of those opportunities.
Incels might understand this, but where they differ is in blaming the individual rather than the stratification of society. Some of them even view complete stratification as better than partial stratification because it presents less opportunities for hypergamy to be successful.
This logic is actually rational, but only within the framework of capitalist realism. Incels don't believe that it's possible to move beyond class or caste society. As a result, they prefer more rigid classes or castes instead, and use their moralizing judgements and essentialist rationalisations against the other to justify it. Likewise, anti-incels do the exact same thing, only towards incels rather than non-incels.
It should be noted that in order for hypergamy to be successful, there has to be some degree of mobility between social classes. Thus, one of capitalism's great successes - the advent of more fluid and open forms of social stratification - is also the cause of great discontent. Liberals are blind to this discontent, wilfully or not, due to how much they value the potential personal benefits of such mobility.
This same dynamic appears in many issues that have been mislabelled as part of some "culture war". We see the same happening to gender and race - these conceptions are never abolished, but instead converted into more fluid forms, spawning both freedom and tyranny with it.
Our duty as communists ought not to be one of joining sides; of course we should be able to acknowledge the achievements of capitalism and oppose vulgar anti-capitalism, but our main goal will always be one of overcoming.
Our true enemy is capitalist realism, and if we truly do have enemies in the flesh then they can only be the servants of capitalist realism, those sowers of hopelessness who fight flame with kindling. By defeating capitalist realism and it's servants, we save our false enemies from their tendency towards destruction.
Incels are not our true enemy, and neither are racists nor transphobes nor identitarians of any stripe, for at worst they are obstructions, and by destroying capitalist realism they can be redeem
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